Never did I imagine that I would be here in Vietnam, learning the language, indulging in the food, enjoying the culture and at the least – meeting my father’s family. I’ve always wanted to travel and live abroad and become fluent in another language. Visiting my sister’s boyfriend – now fiancé – in Japan helped me to see that these things were possible. Furthermore, moving to Korea made me realize that I could actually live abroad. Now, being in Vietnam has helped me to strive to live and thrive in these things that I’ve always wanted to do.

Although I’m not near fluent in the language, I’ve learned a lot about not only Vietnamese, but also the culture from taking classes that VUS offers for foreign teachers. The teacher is really great and helps all of the students go above and beyond what our minds can do – even if we only have class twice a week with no tests. Learning the language of the country I’m residing in as a foreigner has been really helpful, especially in the neighborhood that we live in and because I am actually Vietnamese, people expect me to speak it. But, when I do, I speak with the most horrific pronunciation. They always give me a double take. However, my limited Vietnamese has been most rewarding when I try to speak to my family in Rạch Giá.


They understand where I am from and that my mother was adopted during the war when she was only 3 years old in 1967. They understand that my adopted grandparents are Mỹ trắng (White American) and therefore my mother did not grow up speaking Vietnamese. But, what is strange is that my father didn’t instill in me the language. I think it’s because he didn’t want to think about Vietnam and the heartache that his family went through during and after the war. He was in America and speaking English was what was important to him.

Although my father and I have lost touch with each other, I am thankful that I have had the chance to meet his family. I’m also grateful that both of my sisters have had the opportunity to visit Vietnam and meet them as well. I’ve learned a lot about the culture of a small town family as well as about my family’s history.

I’ve only been to Rạch Giá, their hometown, three times. My family is huge! My father had six other brothers and sisters. His father had seven other brothers and sisters and each of those had about six or seven children as well. In addition, everyone lives on the same street! The closest I am to this family is, of course, the family who lives in Arkansas now. My Great Uncle and all of his kids except for the eldest daughter moved to Vietnam by boat when the war ended. Soon after, my father and his brother followed.

Times were really hard during and after the war and the family doesn’t really like to talk about it. What I have gathered from trying to talk to my family, other people and from reading, is that after the fall of Saigon, people who worked for the South Vietnamese government were sent to reeducation camps. There, most of these people were tortured or killed. So, tons of people fled the country. In my family’s case, they fled Vietnam because of poverty and the famine. Before the war, they had a nice life and were somewhat wealthy. After the war, they had nothing. They wanted to find a better life for themselves. Therefore, they fled the country by boat with thousands of other people. Little did they know that the waves and storms would push them to Thailand. Fortunately, they were lucky enough to have survived the seas and refugee camps and flew to California and then Arkansas.

Back in Vietnam, the eldest sister of my Great Uncle (whom I am supposed to call Co Hai – each person is referred to by which number they are in the family, Hai means two, although she is the first child…) had to stay in Vietnam to take care of her grandparents who were still alive. They were very poor after the war and a lot of things happened. After years had passed, Co Hai got married and helped her husband with his family’s fishing business. The quality of their lives became better and better. Now, they have eight huge fishing boats and are building more as we speak. This part of the family has become very wealthy.

On the other hand, my father’s sister (Co Bay {aunt seven}), who has really embraced that her nieces came to visit, has a rice business. She buys the rice from farmers and sells the rice to markets. Co Bay still lives in the house that her parents lived in. She’s very humble and doesn’t like to show that she also makes a good amount of money. Although these families are very close in physical proximity, they are somewhat removed from each other. I can really see this when I hang out with my cousins who are about 22 years old. There always seems to be some sort of irritation between them.

It’s very interesting to be around my family. Even with the language barrier, I have learned a lot about my family, Vietnam’s history and the Vietnamese culture. They possess all traits that I’ve seen in Vietnamese cultures in America, some are humble yet aggressive and some are conventional and sweet from a first impression. As with any type of people, as I spend more time with certain people in my family, because I couldn’t possibly spend time with each person in my family, I’ve learned more and more about the abrasive language, quietly assertive women and hard-working men who like to party hard. We have been here for six months now and I look forward to learning more and more about Vietnam, the language and the people.

Part of the Family with Mailena and Justin